Mushroom Marsala Steak Topping

Oh my yum…this recipe I’m about to share is simple and ridiculously delicious. It’s a mushroom, parsley, garlic, with marsala wine, explosion in your mouth lol We use it to top our steaks when we need a little something extra.

Here’s the recipe; remember that I don’t cook exact when making meals (baking is another thing all together, I am baking’s bitch lol) I tried to put measurements to what I throw together:

2 tablespoons of rendered duck fat

1 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

3 tablespoons of butter

4 cloves of fresh minced garlic

1 pound fresh mushrooms

3 tablespoons of chopped fresh parsley

2 teaspoons of dried thyme

1 cup of dry Marsala wine


this is the duck fat I use 🙂


Saute mushrooms in duck fat


Add wine then spices and herbs

Add butter and cook down


DELICIOUS over steak 🙂


The “Bread Bitch” has been conquered!

I did it! I was successful in making some yummy white bread! So delicious!

I used Gluten Free – Jenny‘s adapted recipe found here: Gluten Free Soft White Bread

SUPER EASY, AND SUPER TASTY! Here are the ingredients and directions taken from Jenny’s post:

  • 1 1/4 cups warm (110 degrees) organic milk
  • 4 1/2 tsp dry active yeast
  • 3 tbsp Wholesome Sweeteners Organic Sugar, divided
  • 1 1/2 cups white rice flour
  • 1 cup tapioca starch
  • 1/2 cup sweet rice flour (plus a little more for the pan)
  • 1 tbsp psyllium husks
  • 3 organic eggs
  • 1 tsp sea salt
  • 1/4 cup melted Nutiva Organic Coconut Oil

Whisk together the milk, yeast, and 1 tablespoon of sugar. Let sit until the yeast has proofed (almost double in size with a head of foam about 1 inch thick), 5 – 10 minutes.

Grease a loaf pan with oil or butter. Sprinkle in some sweet rice flour, coat the pan, and tap out the excess.

Whisk the rice flour, tapioca starch, sweet rice flour, psyllium husks, salt, and remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar. Add the proofed yeast mixture, eggs, and oil, and whisk until smooth and lump free. Batter will be runny, almost cake like.  Pour into the prepared pan, cover with a clean tea towel and let rise in a warm, draft free environment for 20 or 25 minutes or until the batter comes almost to the top of the pan.  Do not let batter rise over the pan.

Preheat the oven to 375 while the bread is rising.

Bake the bread for 30 – 40 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool in the pan then remove to a wire rack to finish cooling.

Here are some pics:


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Rising (I did let it rise to the top, and over! Not on purpose but yea, because I’m a mindless baker lol)

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Me giving the thumbs up! And Romeo waiting for his bite lol

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He approves!

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Breakfast with TOAST…YAY

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Please be sure to link back to Jenny’s post and let her know what you think if you decide to try this recipe!



Thinking about going full paleo….

While I’m cutting out gluten, and we have officially broken up, I’m still feeling rundown and crappy most days.  I wake up incredibly tired, with aches and pains.  I don’t have my arms falling asleep every night but I still have a very restless experience, relying on Ambien most nights. I sit my fat ass in a chair at the computer all day for work. I just feel dumpy, lethargic, slow, no energy and sucky most days.

Yesterday I was all over the Paleo Parents blog.  Stacy freakin’ rocks! What an inspiration! She put it all out there…and I mean ALL lol. It’s really funny how we chose to see ourselves and those close to us. I was going through Stacy’s blog post with my wife and I said “I look like that! My belly hangs like that!” and her response was complete denial of this fact. Granted, I’m only 167 lbs, but I have a gut, I’m only 5 feet tall. Most of my friends have one too and we have ALL struggled to get healthier. Getting healthier cannot only mean eating right. I have hidden behind this for too long; so have my friends. You have to have some level of physical exertion + eating better to be successful. Especially when you weigh as much as I have in the past (240 at my highest), and do now, and as much as many around me do!  We are ALL in denial on some level. Stacy fucking did it! And she was 336 lbs when she started…and now she looks amazing but more importantly she FEELS amazing!

The running joke is that I am allergic to the e word…exercise lol. Well, guess what? In order to FEEL better part of what I have to do is get off my lazy, fat ass and just do the damn thing.  Don’t get offended that I call myself a fat ass! It’s TRUTH! Remember, I don’t coddle! Not even with myself…a spade is a spade is a spade. If you complain to me, I will tell it like it is.  My main intention is to FEEL GREAT most days. By doing so I know I will lose weight in the process…it’s common sense.

I know that I have emotional highs from eating sugar and carbs. It’s like a drug…I guess from everything I have read, it really IS a drug to our bodies and minds. I am addicted to Coke Zero. I call it crack in a can, SMH. I go days without drinking water sometimes…so gross, right? So I know purging and detoxing this stuff is going to be necessary at some point in this process. I’m just not looking forward to the withdrawal 😦

What prompted all this BEFORE I obsessed about and aptly stalked the Paleo Parents blog? Well, we try to eat “paleo like” quite often. If I could just get over my fucking bread obsession we’d be pretty successful at it, I think.  Sunday’s dinner consisted of a great steak, grilled with scallions. Simple! It’s one of our favorite go to meals.

I let the steaks come to room temp, drizzle a little coconut oil on them, season with garlic, black pepper, sea salt, paprika, white pepper, and ground mustard, and we grill them, depending on how thick, for about 5 minutes a side. Wonderfully medium 🙂 The grilled scallions are seasoned with a little salt and pepper.

Here are some pics:

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I think we can do this paleo stuff and be successful!  I need to remind myself to take baby steps so I don’t set myself up for failure. I will make that damn white bread first however!




YES! SUCCESS! Chocolate chip banana bread conquered!

This weekend I bought all the items needed to conquer banana bread.

I used this awesome recipe by Gluten Free-Jenny: Gluten Free Best Ever Banana Bread

Now…I never eat banana bread without chocolate chips. It’s just not the same kinda dessert like, satisfying experience, for me if it doesn’t have chocolate in it.  Well guess what I forgot?

This is me sulking in the kitchen Sunday morning (Don’t you love the pub height chair I use as a stool in my kitchen? They made these cabinets for amazons I tell ya! I’m only 5 feet tall!!).  My wife laughed at me, took the picture, and then went all the way to the supermarket (that’s just across the street! lol) to get me chocolate chips. She says I should tell everyone that I’m spoiled and not try to hide it hahaha

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I quickly set out to beat this bread bitch!

Now this picture requires a correction. In my haste, I left the white rice flour in the pic BUT it’s not for this recipe…not included at all.  I was overly eager as you can tell. Notice the empty ramekin? That was for chocolate chips.

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And WAH-LA…they appeared 🙂

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Here is Jenny’s recipe:

  • 1/2 cup organic butter, softened
  • 4 medium ripe organic bananas
  • 2 organic eggs
  • 1 cup Wholesome Sweeteners Organic Sugar
  • 2 tsp Simply Organic Vanilla Extract
  • 1 1/2 cups sweet rice flour
  • 1/2 cup sorghum flour
  • 1 tbsp ground flax
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional, I didn’t use) – I also didn’t use nuts, but added chocolate chips


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease 5 x 9 inch loaf pan.
Mash bananas in a small bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl, cream your butter with sugar.  Add in eggs, vanilla and mashed bananas.

In a separate bowl, combine flours, ground flax, salt and baking powder.
Add dry ingredients (about a 1/4 cup at a time) to the wet and beat until combined.

If you add nuts, gently fold them in at the end.
Pour batter into greased loaf pan and bake for 1 hour or until toothpick comes out clean.

SO NOW AFTER POSTING THIS HERE I REALIZE THAT I BAKED THE BREAD ON 375, NOT 350 😦 I’m telling ya, I’m terrible at this baking shit! But it didn’t affect it, or at least I don’t think it did.

Here are my pics:

Mix the wet ingredients

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Then mix the dry ingredients
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This one needs an explanation…I pour half of the batter into the pan and then I take the chocolate chips and chuck them at it one by one…like “BAM”, “POW”, “TAKE THAT”! It’s kinda like a superhero thing…I know, I have issues.

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Then I add the rest of the batter and once again, beat it down with chocolate chips!

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And then, magically, from the depths of my despair…THIS BEAUTY CAME OUT OF THE OVEN! I cooked it about 1 hour and 15 min total.

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I did it, I did it, I did it hooray! (OK, my kid is 12, but we loved some shit outta Dora!)

The one thing I would do differently next time is to NOT add the layer of chocolate chips in the middle. It wasn’t necessary and I think it baked a little weird from that level down to the bottom of the pan…seemed more chewy, maybe too much moisture? Not sure! But it tastes amazing!

Thank you Jenny! I’m so happy you found me and suggested your recipes. Next one I’m trying is your Gluten Free Soft White Bread!


Puerto Rican Picadillo & Platanos Dulce

I’m excited to share a recipe of my own…yay!

Picadillo is a stuffing like meat and veggie mix that is very flavorful. It is typically a ground beef dish but I can see this easily translating to ground turkey, although I’ve never tried it that way. Our favorite way to eat it is over some white rice with a side of sweet plantains, otherwise known as platanos dulce. I have graduated to jasmine rice and culturally adapted to our mixed Spanish/Asian household lol

One major flavor component to this dish is the use of a base for all our stews, soups, beans, etc. in Puerto Rican cooking called sofrito. It’s really quite simple to make and store (I freeze it in small containers and pull out only as much as I anticipate using that week).

Here is my sofrito recipe:

1 large spanish onion (yellow onion), chopped

2 bunches of cilantro, trimmed of most stems

8 cloves of garlic, peeled and roughly chopped

1 red bell pepper, de-seed and chopped

2 green bell peppers, de-seed and chopped

3 plum tomatoes, chopped (I like to squeeze my tomatoes (haha that’s what she said) and get out most of the liquid/seeds before chopping)

1 tbsp salt

1 tbsp black pepper

You take all of this, throw it in the blender, and mix it all up.

It will look like this:

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Then I freeze it and use it as needed 🙂

Here is my picadillo recipe. You will notice that the sofrito and this recipe have some of the same ingredients BUT it just tastes different when you put it together this way:

1 lb. ground beef

1 small white onion, diced

½ of a green pepper, diced

½ of a red pepper, diced

1 can of diced tomatoes, drained

1 tsp dried oregano

4 cloves chopped garlic

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

½ container of whole Spanish Manzanilla olives with pimento (or I like to buy this packet and I drain it and use it all: Olives Stuffed with Minced Pimentos

1 tbsp of capers, drained

½ cup chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish

3 tbsp of sofrito

1 can tomato sauce, 8 oz


  1. Brown your ground beef and drain all excess liquid
  2. Add all spices and veggies, mix well
  3. Add the can of tomato sauce, cover, reduce heat to medium low and cook for about 15 minutes until the peppers and onions have softened
  4. Add cilantro and cook for another 5 minutes
  5. Add additional salt and pepper to taste

Here are my pics:

Step 1 & 2

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Step 3

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I did not take a pic of it in the pan after it cooked, sorry.

Served over rice with a side of plantains (the plantains are ripe and I fry them in a shallow pan in coconut oil):

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Getting to know you…uh me…

I’ve been inspired by other blogs I’ve perused today and thought I would share a little about who we are. Yes, I have a family 🙂 and they will hate me for this but I promised to use great photos!

This photo here is the epitome of me…classy, sassy and a little smart assy haha with a drink! Always with a drink!

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Here are some things about me:

  • Things that are important to me: God, my family (including furry children), my close friendships, reading/books, TRYING to live as healthy as I can, being honest and speaking my mind (I can make people cry from my honesty which brands me a bitch to some lol oh fucking well, I DO NOT coddle!), and equal rights for all 
  • I married the love of my life on 10/11/12 and had a dream wedding
  • I have a WIFE 🙂 She looks unassuming but will kick your ass (she works for officials of the county in which we reside, if that’s any indication) and there are guns at home
  • Everyone is sick of hearing about our wedding, but it was hands down the most beautiful I have EVER felt! Every bride should feel this way on their wedding day!
  • Therefore I have to share it HERE
  • My best friend is really my mixed German Shepherd pup…he is my buddy and his name is Romeo, because he’s a loverboy
  • We also have an old lady dog named Zoe.  She doesn’t come out much because she’s a bitch like me and is always messing up in the house or hiding
  • We also have a 12 year old, Jordan, who looks 17 and is driving us bat shit crazy with her “forgetfulness”…seriously, trash day has been Thursday for the last year and a half and she STILL can’t remember! But we love her, and she’s pretty, and we’re “working” on it everyday…hence the chore chart on the fridge to list EVERYTHING, including bathing (Like seriously what the fuck is up with 6th graders?? They smell!)
  • I’m older than I look lol people get it wrong all the time…but NO I was not a teen mom (ain’t nobody got time for that!)  so feel free to try the math
  • I’m so damn easy to get along with, just be a straight (ummm forward lol) shooter and there will be no blood…so  ask me anything



Here he’s trying to be cute and keep my wife away from me lol he really does think I’m his momma

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Zoe, don’t let her fool you, she’s a mean bitch lol us little ones always are!

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Jordy, JoJo, Gordy, Gordon, and otherwise known as McFly (yes, I have a thing for nicknames and call her all kinds of loving crap) but isn’t she pretty? She was 11 here!!! Best thing I’ve ever done and well, baked! haha

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My favorite wedding photo 🙂

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Some other great shots

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tami and cheryll wedding teaser 01

For the record…I LOVED MY FUCKING WEDDING DRESS! We had to change venues, theme, everything just to make it fit this damn dress…and yes I am spoiled!

If you’d like to see more, take a gander at these websites that featured our wedding!

Our FABULOUS photog friends who came to the rescue on our special day: Sara + Ryan Photography

Our other FABULOUS friends (who just relocated back to our town), Tracey & Angela, run this lesbian wedding site: On a Bicycle Built for Two




Product Review: Bakery On Main Instant Oatmeal

Last night, lying in bed watching ridiculous shows on TV (yes, I’m addicted to the Real Housewives and Kim Zolciak – I was a REAL life housewife myself last year lol), I saw Celiac and the Beast‘s product review post for Bakery on Main’s instant oatmeal.  A quick link to Bakery On Main‘s instant oatmeal page and I was obsessed with finding this product in a local store.

Luckily, on my way to work, there is a new Whole Foods Market AND they carry this brand. I had to stop and grab some on the way in. They only had the traditional flavor in stock.

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I added bananas, some sugar and some cinnamon. OHHH MMMM F’IN GEEEEE!!!  I have died and gone to heaven.

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It was great! I am super happy with this product and have to order their maple multigrain muffin flavor because I love sweet oatmeal 🙂

And take a look at this, like music to my heart!

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THIS ONE HAS NO “NATURAL FLAVOR” listed!!! WOOHOO!!! NO BEAVER ANAL GLANDS BWWAAAHHHAAA (if you wanna know what I mean, check out Dana‘s post on Celiac Kiddo…rocked my world!)

Here are links to the company Facebook & Website pages:

Bakery On Main Facebook

Bakery On Main Website



Little ol’ potty mouth ME…nominated for blogger awards! Say what??

Being sooooo new to the blogosphere, I am so completely humbled to be noticed by the likes of several blogs I have fallen in love with.  Your comments and love make me feel awesome!  I have come across some very cool blogs that have helped me feel not so alone in this journey.

One in particular is Celiac Kiddo!! if you don’t know Dana from Celiac Kiddo…you should! She is a super mom of two great kids, one of which has confirmed celiac disease. Meet Bunky here! Bunky is my hero…she is a Super Celiac Kid who is learning how to live fully out the gate.  I wish I had their experience growing up. Bunky needs a cape, seriously, and we need a “Super Celiac Kid” badge for her!

Today Dana nominated my blog for the following blogger awards in this post. I was like “WHOOOOOO MEEEEE???”  Seriously the highlight of my day!

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Liebster Award

The Versatile Blogger

The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award

I promise to pass the love along to other blogs I can’t live without as soon as I get a handle on all this 🙂



3rd times a charm? IDK you decide!

Ok so I reattempted the gluten free bread!

This time I did everything perfectly! I even used bottled spring water because someone suggested it.

The bread rose, it baked fine…but it fucking deflated a bit AGAIN!!

AND IT TASTES DISGUSTING!!! Like why the hell does the recipe call for honey…it’s sweet and GROSS! And too damn chewy!! Too much xantham gum?? I can’t imagine it as sandwich bread with meats…I can’t imagine it with cheese in a grilled cheese…what the fuck is it good for? BUTTER! That’s it!!! Just plain ol’ butter!!

I’m so disappointed!

Bread rising:

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Done baking:

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Me tolerating the shit:

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The 5 Best Gluten-Free Flours and What to Do With Them

I recently came across this article on Huffington Post…thought it worthy to share as I’ve often wondered about these flours and how to use them. Listed in the article are the 5 best gluten-free as follows:

White Rice Flour

Millet Flour

Chickpea Flour

Buckwheat Flour

Masa Harina

The 5 Best Gluten-Free Flours and What to Do With Them